Hey! Haven't you heard? Lucid dreaming is CoNstrUcTivE! Yes, inside of
               lucid dreams, you can play out different life-scenarios, test new theories, brush
               up on your Spanish, cram for that algebra exam, or even figure out how in the
               hell you're going to fight that lawsuit that threatens to ruin your life!

               I'm sorry, but it ain't happenin'. It seems like every "scientist" out there trying to
               peddle a book or a gizmo related to lucid dreaming tries to play the
               "productivity" card. It's the same old tired advertising trick (and I'm in the
               business, so I should know): Tell them that they have a problem, and then sell
               them the solution.

               So what's the problem? Evidently, there aren't enough hours in the day for you
               to WORK. You need to better yourself, Jack. Think of all of the things that you
               could accomplish if you could only use those hours spend dreaming to do
               something CONSTRUCTIVE. Of course, their books will show you how to do
               just that.

               Good lord, don't let Corporate America find out! "Johnson, there's talk around
               the office that you can induce lucid dreams. As a special request from your
               CEO, I want you to begin trying out different business tactics while in the lucid
               state. See what sort of results you can get by trying to outbid Mr. Matsumi on
               the Plinko deal. Throw a few monkey wrenches in the CrapCo/Trinketa merger.
               See where it gets us."

               Okay, okay. I know it's silly, and yes, I am being a tad facetious. But how can I
               not be? Lucid dreaming is a wonderful skill to learn, but it takes a hell of a lot of
               time, patience, luck, and sleep to get to the point where you can actually DO it,
               let alone USE the experience for your benefit (whatever that may be). I find it
               extremely hard to believe that anyone out there who can do it would bother
               using their dreamtime to practice a xylophone, teach themselves to sew, or to
               do anything other than something that they absolutely could not do in their
               waking life.

               Have you ever had a lucid dream? Did you think about baking a cake at any
               point during the experience? Even if you did bother to attempt something
               constructive, like trying to find a cure for cancer, would the results be worth a
               damn? I mean, we're talking about a world where pigs fly and people drive
               backwards down the interstate! Any attempt at something as technical as
               learning a new musical instrument would be a complete waste of time. Why
               bother working while you sleep?

               If you can achieve lucid dreams, please, I beg of you, do  something FUN!
               What's so destructive about exploring PLEASURE? Fly, dammit! Fly! Fuck
               someone whom you could never possibly have sex with! Kill that bully who
               tormented you in grade school! Don't build a freaking house, blow one up! Yes,
               pleasure is a subjective thing, and you may very well enjoy baking cookies in
               your dreams, but by god, at least have the decency to eat every last one when
               they're done, being sure to wash it all down with a gallon or two of high-fat milk!

               The world of lucid dreaming is a world without consequences. A  personal
               holodeck where you can create the purrfect vacation. Don't you dare waste it!
               If you do, and I find out, I'll induce a lucid dream where I fly to your town and
               kick the living shit out of you!

(Author Unknown.  Please contact me if you know who it is!)